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Isaiah 58:6-14 (NKJV)

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands;

that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word

be won by the conversation of the wives;

While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.

— 1 Peter 3:1,2

Many years ago we had a young couple in our church who were madly in love with each other. Every time I saw them, they were holding hands and looking blissfully into each other’s eyes. We all got such a kick out of watching them and were excited about their upcoming wedding. Several months after they were married, I noticed that this young husband looked downcast and depressed. I went to him privately and asked, “How is marriage?” He replied, “Why didn’t someone warn me about how terrible this was going to be?” I was shocked by his response, so I asked him, “Please tell me what is happening to give you such a bad impression of marriage.”

The husband proceeded to tell me about all the rules his wife had made for him and their household. For instance, if he didn’t read his Bible when he woke up in the morning, she refused to make his breakfast. Her rule was “No Bible, no breakfast!” He told me that many mornings he would go to the kitchen to get his sack lunch for the day, and his new bride would tell him, “Today the Lord has told me that you need to fast, so there won’t be any lunch for you today. You need to spend time in prayer.”

The young man continued to tell me that many evenings when he came home from work exhausted, his wife would order him, “Tonight we are going to sit on the couch and read the Bible together for two hours —you, me, and my mother. Then we’re going to spend an hour in prayer.” When I heard what was happening, I chuckled inside. I knew this sweet little new bride was trying to encourage her husband to be the spiritual leader of their new home, but her approach wasn’t effective. In fact, it was having just the opposite effect she desired. Instead of causing her husband to feel closer to her, this young wife was pushing him far away by constantly preaching at him and demanding that he become the spiritual leader she expected him to be. But after the couple attended a few counseling sessions with me, the wife backed off and let her husband assume his leadership role on his own terms. When she relaxed and let him lead in a way that was more natural to him, the tension left their marriage and they reentered marital bliss!

A wife who takes on the role of preaching at her husband will never find this method very effective. It is usually a huge turn-off for a husband because it makes him feel like his wife, who is supposed to be his greatest supporter, has instead become his corrector and boss. Men resent this behavior. This is why Peter told the wives, “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives” (1 Peter 3:1).

In the first century, women came to Christ more readily than men — a situation that has always seemed to exist in the Church. This meant that a huge portion of the Early Church was comprised of women who had come to Jesus Christ but whose husbands remained unsaved. Of course, these women wanted their husbands to be saved, so after a church service, they would often run home and begin to preach to their husbands. They saw themselves as God’s anointed evangelists to bring their husbands into the fold. But those unsaved husbands didn’t perceive this to be a blessing! From the husbands’ perspective, their wives’ preaching sounded like nagging and complaining. This approach produced such negative results that Peter told wives to stop preaching to their husbands and to instead live godly lives before them as their method of evangelizing. Peter wrote, “…If any [husbands] obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives” (1 Peter 3:1).

The phrase “…if any obey not the word…” alludes to unsaved husbands, but it could also refer to saved husbands who are not living in obedience to God’s Word. The words “obey not” are from the Greek word apeitho, which emphatically refers to someone who refuses to be persuaded. This person isn’t just ignorant of the truth; he is defiant and rejecting of it. Therefore, besides referring to unsaved husbands who hear the message and reject it, as Peter was most likely writing about, this phrase could also refer to saved husbands who refuse to do what they know God wants them to do.

I can think of so many Christian wives who want their husbands to change. These wives beg, plead, nag, and pester their husbands all the time to do this different or to do that different. But no matter how hard a wife pressures her husband, he will remain stubborn, obstinate, and unmoved. If God doesn’t touch his heart and cause him to respond on his own, all the begging and nagging in the world won’t change his heart. Wife, whether your husband is saved or unsaved, the method of impacting him is the same. Peter says you can win your husband without ever uttering a single word!

Now look at the phrase “…they also may without the word be won….” The word “won” is the Greek word kerdeo, an old Greek word which means to act cleverly. It was often used in secular literature to depict someone who won a game, such as the game of casting lots. In today’s world, it could depict a person who plays his cards right and therefore walks off with the booty! Therefore, the word kerdeo (“won”) means to wise up; to act cleverly; to play the game correctly; or in today’s vernacular, to play your cards right. Peter is telling wives how to win the game of positively influencing their husbands without ever saying a word! He tells them that the most influential thing wives can do is to let their husbands see their “conversation.”

The word “conversation” is the Greek word anastrophe, a Greek word that refers to how a person rises up and sits down; goes in and goes out; and turns this way or that way. In other words, the word anastrophe gives a picture of how a person conducts his life and how he or she behaves in every situation. By using this word, we are told that there is no message more powerful than a godly life — and that a wife who lives a godly life before her husband greatly impacts his decisions and the way he lives.

 The Greek words used in this text present the following idea:

“…If any refuse to comply with the Word and do what it says, you can still win the game without ever uttering a single word by simply letting your husband take note of and observethe way you live your life before him.”

I am married to a very godly woman. Denise has great influence in my life, not because of what she says but because of how she lives. I see her pray every morning. I watch as she sacrifices to follow me and how she has always done it with a willing and joyful heart. I have watched her forgive those who wronged us and our ministry. I see how attentively she takes care of our sons and how she loves our son’s wife. She stands by me, supports me, helps me, encourages me, and is indeed my closest friend.

Denise’s godly life is her greatest pulpit. I see her rising up, her sitting down, her going in, her going out, her turning this way and that way. Because I know her life and her outstanding attitude, I have great respect for her, and I listen when she speaks to me about things that concern her. In fact, of all the people in my life, my wife has the single greatest impact on me and my decisions. Her godly life has empowered her to have this authority with me. You could say that she won me and my respect because she showed me her life instead of just preaching sermons at me.

This is a good example of Peter’s statement to wives in verse 2 that husbands will “…behold your chaste conversation.…” The word “behold” is the Greek word epopteuo, which in Greek means to observe, to watch, to monitor, to scrutinize, or to keep under observation. The tense used in the Greek indicates a continual observation. This means a husband doesn’t just notice his wife’s behavior once; rather, he keeps a watch on her behavior and attitude all the time.

Wife, let me tell you a secret. Your husband may not tell you, but he is watching you. He sees and is amazed when you remain happy and content in very unhappy circumstances. He notices when you have an opportunity to be angry but choose instead to be silent and to take that anger to the Lord. Your husband observes your uncomplaining attitude when financial sacrifice is required. On the other hand, he also takes note when you blow your top and say ugly things. You can be sure that even though your husband may not tell you, he is constantly monitoring your attitude and responses to the situations of life.

This is why Peter says that you should let your husband “…behold your chaste conversation….” The word “chaste” is the word agnos. It refers to holiness, purity, or irreproachable conduct. In other words, men notice it when their wives are awesome! A wife’s godly conduct is the most influential, powerful sermon she could ever preach to her husband. Peter goes on to say, “While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.” This word “fear” does not refer to the kind of fear that makes a person shake and tremble because he is terrified. In this context, it carries the idea of respect. Knowing that a husband feels valued when he senses his wife’s respect, Peter urges women to live holy lives before their husbands and to do everything they can to demonstrate respect to them.

 The words in First Peter 3:2 could be paraphrased to carry this meaning:

“Wives, your husbands are watching you constantly. They see you rising up; they see you sitting down; they see you going in; and they see you going out. They are constantly observing you, so make sure they are seeing you live a pure and holy life, and give them honor and respect as you do it.”

If you’ve been preaching at your husband to no effect, perhaps it’s time for you to change your method. Make the quality decision to stop talking to him about the things you’ve been wanting him to change in his life. Instead, take your concerns to God in prayer. Leave your husband alone, and let God deal with him. When you suddenly fall silent and cease to preach at your husband, I guarantee you that he will notice a change has taken place in your approach toward him. He will “behold” this change in your attitude. He will “behold” that you aren’t correcting him anymore. He will “behold” that you are leaving him alone and that you have chosen to take a different route.

As you learn to stay silent rather than preach at your husband, he will probably begin to hear the Holy Spirit speaking to his heart. And when your husband sees you maintain an excellent attitude in the midst of circumstances that aren’t going your way, his heart will be drawn to you. He’ll begin to get convicted, and his desire to do more to please you will start to grow.

You see, wife, Peter knew exactly what he was talking about when he wrote that you could win your husband without a word. Therefore, it’s time for you to get before God and ask Him to change your heart and your attitude about your husband. Learn to be clever by keeping your mouth closed and letting your godly life and good attitude do the preaching for you!

*Thanks to Rick Renner’s Sparkling Gems.

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge,

giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel,

and as being heirs together of the grace of life….

— 1 Peter 3:7

  One of the meanest tricks in the world occurs when a man romances his future bride and treats her like a princess as they are courting — but then once they get married, everything suddenly changes! Before the marriage, the man held her hand, walked with her, opened the door for her, called her on the telephone, wrote her romantic notes, sent her flowers, and took her to dinner. He treated her so royally that she viewed him as her “Prince Charming” and felt like she was his queen!

Unfortunately, upon returning from the honeymoon, many new husbands suspend all those romantic gestures that made their future brides feel so special. These men begin to act as if they have forgotten how to show their brides the tenderness to which they had grown accustomed. As a result of this change in behavior in their new husbands, young brides often feel disappointed, let down, and deceived. They inwardly ask themselves:

• Where is the Prince Charming I fell in love with before I got married?
• Was that all an act?
• Who is this man I have married?
• Who is this man who rarely calls me, who rarely treats me to a date, who seems to have time for everyone except me, and who shows very little tenderness in our relationship?
• Where did the man go who once treated me so nicely?

Men are often unaware that they are becoming insensitive and neglectful of their wives. Perhaps they get busy at work, or their minds are heavy with details, or they are mentally and physically exhausted. These may be some of the contributing factors that explain why men do the things they do. But regardless of what a husband is feeling or going through at work or in his financial affairs, his wife needs his attention and affection. She married him because she wants to be a part of his life. She has a need to feel cherished by him and to know that he wants to include her in his life.

This is precisely why Peter in First Peter 3:7 told husbands that they are to “dwell” with their wives. The word “dwell” is the Greek word sunoikeo, a compound of the word sun and oikos. The word sun always carries the idea of partnership and cooperation. When the word sun is used in the New Testament, it always connects two or more people into a very vital union. The second part of the word, oikos, is the Greek word for a house. When these words are linked together as they are in First Peter 3:7,it means to share a house together or to dwell together in one residence. But there’s more to this than simply sharing a house together. The fact is, there are many husbands and wives who live in the same house, who eat at the same table, and who share the same bed, yet who don’t really “dwell” together. They are like two ships that occasionally pass each other.

Although they share the same residence, they live separate lives, never really connecting with each other. Because the first part of the word sunoikos (“dwell”) is the word sun, which always conveys the idea of partnership and cooperation, this lets us know that Peter is urging husbands to share their lives with their wives. This is a great challenge to men, who often want to be quiet when they come home after a busy day at work. Many men would rather sit down in front of the television and flip the channels all evening rather than communicate with their wives.

Husband, learning to share your life with your wife is a skill that must be developed. This is why Peter goes on to say that husbands are to “dwell with them according to knowledge.” The phrase “according to knowledge” implies that you must gain understanding of what blesses and distresses your wife. First, you must seek to obtain that knowledge by reading the Word, by reading a good book on marriage, by attending a seminar on how to be a better husband, by listening to a teaching tape on the subject, and so on. Then you must apply what you learn to your marriage if you want to have a happy wife.

For instance, what do you do, husband, when you come home from work in the evening? Perhaps you’re one of those husbands who walks in the door, plops down on the couch, turns on the television, and begins to flip mindlessly through so many channels that it is impossible to focus on any single program. Meanwhile, your wife has been waiting to talk to you all day long, so she sits next to you as you flip from one channel to the next and wonders, Why doesn’t he turn off the television and talk to me instead?

The truth is, you’ve talked to people all day long, and you probably don’t want to talk anymore. But you have a precious wife who needs you at that moment. She has cleaned the house, taken care of the children, cooked your evening meal, and faced her own challenges throughout the day. After an entire day of caring for the children, she needs some adult fellowship. Even more importantly, she wants fellowship with you because you are the one she loves and needs the most. Why not turn off the television, take your wife by the hand, and ask her to take a walk with you? Or why don’t you sit at the kitchen table with your wife and let her tell you all about her day over a cup of coffee or tea? And after she is finished telling you every nitty-gritty detail of her day, take the time to tell her about your day! She wants to know what you did, whom you talked to, what they said, what happened next, and so on. She wants to know all about you and your day.

Also, instead of spending most evenings and Saturday with the guys or with other people, send a powerful signal to your wife that she is important by scheduling time to be only with her. That’s right, husband — spend quality time with your wife! Take her out to dinner or a movie. Do things together that you both enjoy so you can keep your relationship fresh and alive. You need to treat your wife like she is the most central, significant, and important partner in your life. This doesn’t mean you can’t spend time with the guys. Certainly you need fellowship with Christian brothers. However, if you spend every free minute with them and never schedule any time with your wife, you are communicating that your male friends are much more important than she is. Is this the message you want to send to your wife?

As you learn to treat your wife with tender care, it will pay off big dividends in your life. If she is assured that she is a top priority in your life and feels secure in her relationship with you, she will gladly follow you and help you wherever God leads. But if she doesn’t feel valued or secure in her position as your wife, she will find it much harder to follow you with a sweet and submissive heart. She may be afraid that if she follows you, she will ultimately find herself abandoned and uncared for. Thus, how you care for your wife greatly determines how easy or difficult it is for her to follow you.

In my own life, my wife and I actually schedule our times to be together. We plan those moments when we will go for a walk together, go shopping, go to a café to have a cup of coffee or tea, or share a special meal with each other. Like most people, our schedules are very busy. We have found that if we don’t plan these times together, all the other responsibilities of our lives and ministry consume us, and in the end, we don’t spend enough quality time together. But because we both consider our marriage relationship to be the most important relationship in our lives, we treat it like it is important and make certain that we spend quality time together on a regular basis.

Husband, I urge you to make the decision that you are going to do more than just share the couch, share the table, and share the bed with your wife. Share your life with her. Open your heart to her; talk to her like she is your best friend and most important confidant. “Dwell” with her and do everything you can to let her know that no one else is as important to you as she is. If you’re wondering what your marriage will be like if you fail to treat your wife with this kind of tender care, just ask those husbands who have made the mistake of ignoring their wives. They will testify how they hurt their wives, and many husbands will have to admit that they were a big factor in their wives becoming bitter and hardhearted.

When you invest in your wife, you are investing into your own life. You see, if you have a happy wife, you can be sure that you’ll have a partner who is with you all the way. So I urge you today to learn how to dwell with your wife according to knowledge. Make sure that from this day forward, you treat your wife like she is a top priority in your life!

*Thanks to Rick Renner (Sparkling Gems)

Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning
of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
But let it be the hidden man of the heart,
in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament
of a meek and quiet spirit,
which is in the sight of God of great price.
— 1 Peter 3:3,4

One day I was invited to speak at a church in the city of Kiev in the country of Ukraine. Ministers had gathered from all over to meet me that day and to attend our morning teaching session. After that morning meeting, a large table was set outside on the driveway where all the special guests were seated so they could be served Ukrainian borsch for lunch.

I noticed that an elderly woman, approximately seventy-five years old, was the primary person serving lunch to us that day. As she passed by me, I looked into her face and saw the deep wrinkles that testified to a very hard life. This was a woman who had faced many intense challenges in the
course of her life.

Yet when I looked into her eyes, I could see that this was a woman who was very strong in spirit. Although it was evident that she had lived a hard and difficult life, it was also evident that she had never been broken by hardship. The look in her faded blue eyes gripped me, for those eyes seemed to literally radiate life from within her. I watched with amazement at the way this elderly woman carried bowls of borsch to this person, then to that person, and then to the next. It was obvious that she was delighted to serve the pastors who sat around the table. The tender smile that graced her face and the sweet spirit with which she served captivated my attention. As I kept watching her, I thought to myself, This woman must be one of the most beautiful and graceful women I’ve ever met in my life.

Finally, I turned to the elderly pastor sitting next to me, and I asked, “Who is that woman?” He looked at me with a sparkle in his eyes and glowingly answered, “That’s my wife.” Despite her wrinkles and gray hair, this woman’s indomitable spirit shone through and was evident
for all to see. This was a woman who had lived a godly life. This was no weak woman, but a very strong and very capable woman.

I continued to watch the pastor’s wife as she kept serving the men around the table, smiling graciously as she refilled empty bowls with more borsch. As I observed her strong but gentle spirit, I thought of Peter’s words to women in First Peter 3:3,4. In those verses, Peter wrote, “Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.”

Today I want to speak to you about the phrase “meek and quiet spirit.” Contrary to what most people think, these words do not picture a woman who is weak, timid, or soft-spoken. The word “meek” is the Greek word praus, a word that describes the attitude of one who is friendly, warm, forbearing, patient, kind, and gentle. This would picture someone who is just the opposite of a person who is angry, temperamental, or given to outbursts of anger. Although a meek person faces opportunities to react in anger or to get upset, he or she has chosen to be controlled, forgiving, and gentle. Thus, “meek” people are individuals who have become skilled at controlling themselves and their temperament. You might say that meekness is power under control.

When Peter goes on to use the word “quiet” in this verse, he employs the use of the Greek word hisuchios, which depicts a person who knows how to calm himself and to maintain a state of peace and tranquility. Rather than speak up and utter words that are later regretted, this individual stays quiet and refrains from angry responses. He or she deliberately decides not to be a contributor to conflicts, but to be a peacemaker instead.

So when Peter writes about a “meek and quiet spirit,” he is paying the highest compliment to wives who fit this description. These wives are so strong in spirit that they are able to refrain from outbursts of anger and thus are able to become a calming force in a variety of difficult situations. Considering the many opportunities wives have to get shaken or upset by the affairs of life, it is very commendable when a wife is so strong, so consistent, and so stable in the home that she consistently “steadies the ship” and helps keep peace in every situation.

Once again let me stress that Peter is not referring to women who are timid, shy, or weak. It takes great strength to be the kind of woman he is describing. A woman who continually controls herself — holding her temper, keeping a lid on her emotions, and remaining a stable, tranquil force in every situation — is demonstrating evidence of great maturity.

This quality of a meek and quiet spirit is quite a treasure — so much so that God says a woman who has achieved this state of maturity possesses something of “great price.” The words “great price”
are from the Greek word poluteles, which conveys the idea of something that is very valuable; something of great cost or great worth; or something that is precious and dear.

God highly values a woman who becomes this kind of strong, steady force in the home. He knows how many times a wife has an opportunity to get upset about something that has happened. So when she chooses to control herself and be a contributor to peace instead of strife, God sees this kind of woman as rare, precious, dear, and to be valued. He appreciates it when she puts aside her own anger or emotions and instead helps peace reign in the situation. God thinks very highly of such a woman!

When I looked into the face of that elderly Ukrainian woman, I could see the strength she possessed, for it was a strength that literally emanated from her. Seeing those deep wrinkles in her face,
I could tell she had faced many hardships in life that could have upset her, hurt her, or made her want to take matters into her own hands.

But this was a woman who had allowed God to teach her how to look to Him rather than be swayed by the circumstances of life. Far from being weak and wimpy, she was a tower of strength. Her spirit was both gracious and indomitable. It was obvious that she was godly, pure, and powerful — someone who had made an eternal impact on many lives because of the life she had led.

How about you, my friend?

. Can you say that you are a contributor to peace in your home?
. Can you testify that you are a steady force in rough and upsetting situations?
. Can you really say that you have learned to control your emotions and to be a peacemaker?
. Would you have to admit that you contribute to strife and often make matters worse by giving in to your emotions and speaking things that you later regret?
. Does God see you as a rare and special treasure who brings a sense of peace and stability to your family, or does He see you as a frequent cause of conflict, strife, and a lack of peace in your home?
You may not have experienced the same kind of hardships as the elderly woman in my story today, but you still face many potential conflicts in your own life every day. You have a choice to
react either in anger or in meekness. Every time you have an opportunity to react in the flesh or be angry and upset, you can choose instead to be controlled, forgiving, and gentle. Rather than speak
up and utter words that will later be regretted, you can choose to be a peacemaker.

In view of what you have read today, can you say that you demonstrate a “meek and quiet spirit,” or do you give evidence of a different kind of attitude? What is God saying to you about your heart and actions, and what are you going to do in light of what you have learned from today’s Sparkling Gem?

-Special thanks to Rick Renner (Sparkling Gems)

1. Have I committed myself to understanding and engaging the precepts and plans of God, the Father, my Lord, your Lord, the Lord?
2. If I have a spouse and children; at the end of each day, have I served my family with love, honor and leadership worth following? (since this is your first and most important ministry and service)
3. How many lives have I changed through the impact I’ve made, by serving and blessing people with a heart of mercy and compassion and an attitude of peace and humility.

Lord, let us remember that it’s not about how many have heard us speak or preach, how many have bought our product or eaten our food; how many that follow us, or the number of people in our “circle”; the number that have bought our book/cd or the many on our portfolio or resume, but how many we’ve sat at a well with and encouraged, or how many we’ve stooped to wash their feet; the number we’ve dropped down to pick up when everyone else is laughing, cursing and clutching their rocks; how many children we gather in our arms or the number of tears we wipe away; the many who are blind, but the light we shine has given hope and vision or the number of those we run to, that so many others run from.  Jesus, the measure of my success is you. Amen

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives. — 1 Peter 3:1

When the apostle Peter wrote about the needs of husbands and wives in First Peter 3, he knew exactly what he was writing about. Peter had been married for a very long time when he wrote these famous words about marriage. That means Peter was speaking from many years of being successfully married to a wife who traveled with him in the ministry (see 1 Corinthians 9:5).

As Peter addresses wives about how to be a blessing to their husbands, he begins by telling them, “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands.…” The word “subjection” is the Greek word hupotasso, a compound of the words hupo and tasso. The word hupo means under, and the word tasso means to arrange or to put something in order. It was often used in a military sense to describe soldiers who were expected to fall in line and submit to their commanding officers. Every time the word hupotasso is used, it describes the relationship of someone who is submitted to some type of authority and who is expected to act according to that order of authority.

There are many other examples where the word hupotasso is used in the New Testament. For instance, Paul uses this word in First Timothy 3:4, where he gives the instruction that children are to be “in subjection” to their parents. The word “subjection” in this verse is also the word hupotasso, which emphatically means that God has given parents the authority to lead their children and that children are to respectfully submit to their parents’ authority.

When Luke writes of Jesus’ relationship to Joseph and Mary in Luke 2:51, he uses the word hupotasso to describe this parent-child relationship. You see, Jesus was the Son of God and Creator of the universe. But while He was in the flesh, He followed God’s pattern, respectfully submitting to and following His parents’ God-given authority.

This example in Jesus’ life shows the extent to which God respects the order He has set in the home. Although Jesus is God and could have done what He wished while He walked on this earth, He voluntarily submitted to the authority God had entrusted to His parents, thus setting an example for all children to follow.

The word hupotasso was most frequently used in a military sense to describe a soldier’s submission to military authority. This tells us that just as the army has a specific order of authority, so has God designed a certain order for the home that He expects to be followed. Because Peter uses the word hupotasso when writing to wives, he leaves no doubt from a linguistic point of view that God has set the husband as the head of the home and the wife is to respectfully fall in line and submit to his authority.

“Likewise, wives, you need to position yourself under your husband’s authority. This is God’s order for your home, so do all you can to become supportive of your husband.…”

Peter knew that one of the greatest needs of a husband is to have a wife with a supportive attitude. You see, a man fights at his job all day long, struggling to pay the bills and trying to overcome his own insecurities and self-image problems. If he then comes home to a wife who nags, complains, and gripes about everything he doesn’t do right, her behavior has a very negative effect on him. He’s already fought the devil all day long; he certainly doesn’t need to come home to a wife who is ready to fight with him!

As a result, the husband often responds to a nagging and critical wife by hardening and insulating his heart against her. Instead of drawing closer to his wife, he withdraws from her emotionally.

Now, it’s important to understand that when Peter commands a woman to be in subjection to her own husband, he is not recommending that she become a “doormat” whom the husband takes advantage of. Rather, Peter is urging each wife to take her place as her husband’s chief supporter and helper.

When a husband comes home from a hard day at work, he needs to be greeted by a loving, caring, kind, understanding, and supportive wife. This kind of wife makes a husband feel as if he’s found a place where he can find rest and solace for his soul. Her supportive attitude makes him want to run to her, for she has fulfilled her role as his best friend and partner.

Although we do find one New Testament scripture where the older women are told to teach the younger women how to love their husbands (Titus 2:4), it is very interesting to note that nowhere in the New Testament are women directly commanded to love their husbands. Instead, wives are told to be “in subjection” to their husbands. Why is this? Because a husband perceives his wife’s love when he senses her support.

Nothing communicates a wife’s love to her husband better than a supportive attitude. It is when a wife gets out of that supportive role and attempts to become the husband’s authority and head, constantly rebuking and correcting him for what he isn’t doing right, that her actions cause him to emotionally push away from her.

Wife, God never designed you to assume authority over your husband. It will therefore bring disruption to your marital relationship whenever you attempt to do so. So if you want your husband to know how much you love him, look for ways to show him your support. In this case, your attitude and actions really do speak louder than words.

Writing by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit and from many years of personal experience, Peter urges wives to be submissive to their husbands and thus demonstrate their love and respect to them. Now, it is important to understand that submission is not just an outward action; it is a condition of the heart. It is possible for a wife to outwardly comply but still be inwardly unsubmissive and resentful.

Thus, there are two ways a wife can respond to her husband’s authority:

1. She can follow his leadership angrily and resentfully, kicking and screaming all the way. 2. She can submit voluntarily with a joyful and supportive attitude. If a wife follows her husband with resentment in her heart, he will feel this resentment. A man can sense whether his wife is complying because she must or submitting with a joyful and supportive heart.

Wife, have you been assuming a corrective role toward your husband? Does it seem like he is becoming more and more distant from you? If so, I urge you to take a new approach in your relationship with your husband on the basis of Peter’s instruction in First Peter 3:1. Rather than constantly correcting him and pointing out all his flaws, go to God with the things that disturb you about him. Meanwhile, work on becoming the most significant supporter and friend your husband has ever known.

If you respond correctly to your husband’s God-given authority in the home, God will work on his heart. The end result will be a growing desire in your husband to shower you with all the love, tenderness, and affection that you need!

(Thanks to Rick Renner’s Sparkling Gems)

Too often in the Spirit-filled realm, folk tend to allow emotions to heighten and begin to drift into an area of blissful self-satisfaction that totally disconnects them from the ability to relate and communicate with the broken and distressed of our daily reality. All too often, folk use these experiences to draw attention and glory to themselves, instead of guiding complete focus to the King.  While the miracles, signs and wonders that should follow God’s people are vital and promised,  the broken that we have the opportunity to encounter daily (not only in the marketplace, but you had broken folk next to you in church this morning) need something they can identify with, something they can relate to, to give them hope.  The woman at the well didn’t need an altar service, or a 3 hour prayer vigil, she needed Jesus, she needed something that could speak to her pain. When she met Jesus, she then had her Holy Ghost party!  We need to remain grounded.  We were grounded to earth for a purpose; to be an extension of Jesus.  Everything has order in the Kingdom.  There’s a reason we don’t hover in the spirit realm.  Our experiences shouldn’t render us too heavenly minded to be any earthly good, yet should further ground our faith in the mercy, grace, favor and blessing that being in relationship with Jesus Christ brings.  Let’s be real!

Whatever you’re pursuing, needing, believing for, promised….keep pressing. I believe, in my spirit, that the enemy is in a season of the “quit” attack. He wants you to quit, give up and lose hope.  I don’t know what it is you may need or what you have been pressing for or praying for, you may need a financial miracle, healing, a place to live, a restored relationship, a job breakthrough, salvation for a loved one, anything …..and I don’t know how long it may take, it may be tomorrow or a year, but DONT QUIT!  What you need is just around the corner, but you can’t quit!

I, too, need some mighty miracles in my life and some of those things I’ve been fighting and believing for, for a couple of years now, but I believe we’re in that midnight hour, when it’s toughest to continue to fight because you’re tired, it’s dark, it’s lonely, there’s no sounds being made, nothing seems to be happening and it’s that very place where quitting seems to fit the best. Just hold on! Dig deep to find one more shout, one more ounce of faith because there’s a new day dawning! Your sunlight is only a minute away.  Don’t let the enemy convince you to quit.  I know it’s hard and I know the attacks are getting old, the temptation to fold is getting to be too much to bear and you don’t feel like you can handle another phone call of  bad news, another bill, or even another day of seemingly unanswered prayers, but I feel it in my spirit to tell you, PLEASE don’t quit…your victory is only moments away.  The enemy may not have your soul, but if he can get you to quit, he’s won. He’s stopped you short of destiny.

Find comfort in Paul and Silas.  They were shackled, chained, beaten, naked, incarcerated in the lowest of cells, awaiting judgement.  The very definition of hopelessness, loneliness, brokenness and abandonment…..but at midnight, they found a shout! A reason to keep going.  When all hell was coming against them, with every ounce of “want to” that was left in them, they created a window for tomorrow because they buried the enemy with hope, desire, persistence and faith.  And as they held on just a little bit longer, the earth grumbled and the shackles and chains were made to let them go. 

In this dark hour that you are facing, if you won’t give up, God will stop at nothing to break you free.  If He has to shake the earth and cause it to spit out your answers, your solutions, your breakthrough, He won’t do anything less.

In the name of Jesus, keep going!

Make natural the supernatural; expect the unexpected; believe for those who do not yet believe, so that through you the signature stamped upon you in the writing of signs and wonders will compel them to believe.  The voice of the Body of Christ has to again, begin to mean something. Our voice must be followed by power.  In the Kingdom, sound always precedes manifestation! Don’t let the enemy talk you out of your power by sowing an ounce of doubt.  Expect what you speak!

You may be ok with where you’re at today.  Things may be well in your life, but I’m ready to see disease die because it cannot overcome the anointing and power that covers a body, under the grace of Jehovah Rapha (The Lord that heals).  I’m ready to see Momma’s and Daddy’s with a roof over their heads, blessing their children, having an abundance in the pantry, gas in their cars all in the face of global economic destruction, because of the unexplained favor of Jehovah Jireh (The Lord that provides)!  I’m ready to hear of stories where it seems earthly destruction is imminent because of the expulsions of the land; tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes, tsunami’s, attack, etc, but not one board moves from your house or your business because of the power of Jehovah Shalom (The Lord is peace) that’s holding it together.  I don’t need to explain it to experience it, but I’m ready!

If you’re reading this today and you have a need in your life or healing in your body, I pray the power of Jesus to overcome that which is seeming to overwhelm and destroy you.  I believe the best news of your life is only a moment a way.  I believe your greatest days of living are in front of you.  Christ’s blood wasn’t shed in vain, but for exactly this moment in your life!  As I agree with you speak, with belief, healing over yourself; provision for yourself; favor for yourself! I love you. God loves you! I want to see God do major miracles in your life. I want to rejoice with you in those miracles.

Don’t wait for the walls to fall for your shout! Shout for your walls to fall!

We have this feeling that the world is going to stop, if we don’t get involved and help.  Let me remind you that the world does not revolve around you. It’s not going to fall apart, over-tilt on it’s axis or spin out of control.  I’m pretty sure that God’s got this without our help at all, yet He still chooses to make us a part of His plan.  Given that this life of yours is His plan, you must be wise about the choices you make in offering your time, gifts and services.  Some people are like leeches and have a black hole relationship with you.  If you’re not careful they will suck you dry of every bit of time, resource and talent that you have.  Hear this: if you do not value your time & resources, nobody else will.  God did not just give us this life, but He also requires us to be good stewards of all involved with it.

Check out Mark 1:32-29: Two things stand out with the decisions that Christ made in this passage, related to his time, his priorities and his ability to say “no.”  After spending time at Peter’s mother-in-law’s house, healing & teaching, the Bible teaches us that the “whole city” was gathered to see him at the door.  In the next few verses we find something very interesting about how Christ valued His time.  Verse 35, teaches us that He arose early to get with the Father.  He realized the importance in, not making decisions based on emotions, not making his choices based on demand, not being affected by his popularity & pride, but He arose early to find out what the Father wanted; where the Father was working & where He was needed most.  The following verses are interesting. After arising from time with the Father, rather than continuing to tend to the needs of “everyone that was looking for him”, he valued his time, God’s time, God’s moving and his resources enough to tell them, no, I can’t help you right now. 

Mind boggling, right?  Jesus Christ, the one we’ve been taught is the ultimate helper, told those seeking help, “no!”  Can you believe the audacity? Here’s the congregation, needing their preacher; here’s the sick needing their doctor and He tells them no!  Verse 38 says “BUT, he said to them, Let us go…”, leave, bye, talk to the hand! Lol

Christ teaches us many things in this short passage.  We need to value our relationship with God, our quiet time with Him, our time, our giftings and most importantly, the greatest & most effective place we can ever be, is where God is and where he’s moving.  It’s important to take those moments when everyone is tugging on you and at you, to find out from God, “Am I positioned where I need to be?”  And then make the necessary adjustments to get there, regardless of who or what is in your path or how many people “need” you.  Your provision, your anointing and your greatest opportunities are waiting for you, at your proper position. 

If you find yourself overused, overextended and stretched, take time to reevaluate your life. Remember to value your time, your gifts, your resources and most importantly where God’s moving.  That’s where you’ll find your greatest peace, joy and effectiveness.

It’s amazing when you do that, how loud God’s voice becomes in your spirit.  I got halfway to my car past her & I could literally move no further.  I walked back to near where she was, acted like I was looking for somebody and playing with my phone and then turned around started towards my car again, only to come the very same place I had been brick-walled before and it happened to me again. I felt like my feet were shackled to the cement and I could move no further.  I finally got my junk together and returned to the woman and proceeded to fulfill the burden that God laid on my heart.  As I approached her and began to speak with her, one thing began another into the process of what God was trying to work. 

She seemed shocked at first and then I could literally see her wall crumble as she began to tell me that her daughter had been in a bad car accident and had gone through another surgery just hours before and lay in a hospital bed, at 28 years old, with her life at the mercy of God.  She was obviously scared, worried, sad and I’m sure had “why” written all over her mind, but as I began to talk with her and she talked with me, I could see that she was able to escape all that was in her mind and know that somebody cared enough to be obedient to God, so that God could comfort her in the place she was hurting, in the middle of her hurt, at the place of her hurt and awaken her to the fact that He would wipe away her hurt. 

Before I ever spoke with her, person after person walked by, and she sat alone and hurting.  But more than person after person walking by, what really was passing at each person’s past, was opportunity.  Not just opportunity for this lady’s life to be changed or comforted, but opportunity for each of their lives to be changed too.  What I had the chance to operate in, and something that I advocate very much, was marketplace ministry.  Ministry in it’s most pure form, the way it was intended and the way Christ did it, but the one way that we rarely take the opportunity to function in. 

I know God leading me to this woman made a difference to her and I know that God will heal her daughter, because I trust God, I trust my prayers & I trust that He led me to her, but more than that it opened a door for God to work in my life.  Obedience is like the trigger to God’s gun.  When I made the decision to obey, it opened up a realm for God to move in my life.  See God was already at work in this lady’s life, He was just waiting on the obedience from someone that would be the funnel for getting the information to her.  Had He not already been at work in her situation, He would have never burdened my spirit to approach her. 

So the outcome of my burden was not her blessing, her’s was already accomplished, but it was a catalyst for my own.  God knew I had needs in my own life, but He was waiting for me to get my mind off of my needs & ministering to someone else’s.  When I did, it moved me out of His way in my own life. 

We often fret over burdens.  Being burdened in our perspective is like being weighted down, shackled (as I felt when I walked past her), but in the Kingdom, burdens make room for your blessings.  The moment I obeyed, the burden was lifted, because the result was placed back on God and it kickstarted my blessings. 

God opened my eyes to this principle on Monday night and gave me a little more Kingdom education.  My challenge to you is don’t view burdens as frustrations or God putting more on you, it’s really God looking to bless you.  Answer the call quickly and you’ll find that the burden is lighter and your blessings will be heavier!

Be blessed!

Day 1 in Humility: Great leaders know their talents come from God; this makes it easier for others to follow. When you boast your abilities, you hinder your ability to lead! God will favor & elevate you out of humility. What you may be trying to gain out of your boasting, is really your loss!

Jn 3:30 – Day 2 in Humility: You will not operate in your purpose until you decrease in your prominence. You were built to reflect His image not yours.

Rom. 12:3 – Day 3 in Humility: Man may elevate you out of your arrogance, but it has no firm foundation. As quickly as your arrogance may elevate you, it can also destroy you. What God promotes, nothing can destroy. Yet God elevates out of humility. Man doesn’t determine your success, God does. Man doesn’t dictate your miracles, God does; man can’t create the opportunities that God can; and man cannot provide you the favor that God will. “…As God has dealt to each man a measure…” – Your measure can be determined by your humility….he that is last shall be made first. Go!

Ex. 33:12-18 – Day 4 of Humility – Insecure leaders boast their strengths to hide their weaknesses…yet weak people, reach people. Your weaknesses get you out of the way so that God can enter in. Don’t be too proud to be transparent, you’ll reach people where they’re at!

Phil. 2:8 – Day 5 of Humility – Great leaders will humble themselves to reach people where they are, in order to carry them where you want to go…

Emotions lead to rash, poor, judgements and decisions.  Great leaders cannot lead by emotion.  Disciples of Christ are all called to be leaders.  You…were called to be a leader.  You may not be a leader of nations, churches, organizations, etc, but you are to lead others to Jesus.  And you cannot do this effectively, if your emotions lead you.  Christ interestingly addresses this in 5th Chapter of the book of Matthew, verses 38-40.  We are commanded that if someone strikes us on one cheek, turn the other to him/her also.  This is more than just a lesson on forgiveness; Jesus presents to us as the offended, the stressed, the attacked, the oppressed, etc… the opportunity to lead.  Notice in the first part of verse 39, Jesus says, “Do not resist the evil person…”  Who are the evil persons He is speaking of?  Just the wicked & possessed? No, rather those that simply are hurting because of an absence or a void in their life that is not occupied by Christ.  Those that are not in relationship with Him or even those that have forgotten that relationship with Him.  He’s giving you the chance to lead…..the opportunity to lead them to Him!  You get a chance to be Jesus to the broken! Watch this…

It’s a fact that hurting people, hurt people.  Why are they attacking you? Why are they striking you, oppressing you, stressing you?  Because of the emptiness & the hurt they are experiencing & you possess something that they do not recognize, yet long to have…the fulfillment of Christ.  Yet those that operate out of emotion become reactionary type people & Christ shows us, in this situation, that leaders, self-controlled, Spirit-led people are to respond, not react. 

See, reactionary people fight back, because you’re driven by emotion.  Somebody crosses your game, you’re ready to throw down! Emotionally driven people react to pain with pain; you react to a fist with a fist; you react to yelling with yelling; and in the process you do more damage than what was already done.  You’ve broken any chance of restoring a relationship & you’ve killed your opportunity to lead.  When Christ was arrested in the Garden of Gethsemane, Peter reacted out of emotion, with a sword & removed the ear of a soldier.  Christ rebuked him, & healed the soldier’s ear.  Peter reacted out emotion, Christ responded out of love.  One brought more pain to an already painful situation, the other brought healing & salvation.  At that moment…that soldier believed. 

If we go back to verse 39, Christ teaches us, even in messed up situations, not to push away the hurting, but rather to embrace them.  Our reactions kill people, but our responses give life.  He said, “when you’re struck on one cheek, turn and give them the other…” In other words, don’t react and swing back, rather respond with patience, love, compassion, forgiveness, & peace.  Lead them to Jesus, by being Jesus to them.  When they swing like the devil, you respond with Jesus.  Who wins?

Which person are you?  What kind of leader are you?  Reactions are happening all around you….creating the world of chaos that we live in.  If you’ll take a minute to notice those around you…you’ll see the hurting, the emotional, the lost…but much more you’ll see the opportunity.  I’m interested in being a world changer, but it seems an impossible task in that perspective, until you realize that your world are the ones right next to you. You can change that world, one response at a time.  Don’t be the first to react to the situations around you, be the first to respond.  Great leaders respond.

Emotions lead to rash, poor, judgements and decisions.  Great leaders cannot lead by emotion.  Disciples of Christ are all called to be leaders.  You…were called to be a leader.  You may not be a leader of nations, churches, organizations, etc, but you are to lead others to Jesus.  And you cannot do this effectively, if your emotions lead you.  Christ interestingly addresses this in 5th Chapter of the book of Matthew, verses 38-40.  We are commanded that if someone strikes us on one cheek, turn the other to him/her also.  This is more than just a lesson on forgiveness; Jesus presents to us as the offended, the stressed, the attacked, the oppressed, etc… the opportunity to lead.  Notice in the first part of verse 39, Jesus says, “Do not resist the evil person…”  Who are the evil persons He is speaking of?  Just the wicked & possessed? No, rather those that simply are hurting because of an absence or a void in their life that is not occupied by Christ.  Those that are not in relationship with Him or even those that have forgotten that relationship with Him.  He’s giving you the chance to lead…..the opportunity to lead them to Him!  You get a chance to be Jesus to the broken! Watch this…

It’s a fact that hurting people, hurt people.  Why are they attacking you? Why are they striking you, oppressing you, stressing you?  Because of the emptiness & the hurt they are experiencing & you possess something that they do not recognize, yet long to have…the fulfillment of Christ.  Yet those that operate out of emotion become reactionary type people & Christ shows us, in this situation, that leaders, self-controlled, Spirit-led people are to respond, not react. 

See, reactionary people fight back, because you’re driven by emotion.  Somebody crosses your game, you’re ready to throw down! Emotionally driven people react to pain with pain; you react to a fist with a fist; you react to yelling with yelling; and in the process you do more damage than what was already done.  You’ve broken any chance of restoring a relationship & you’ve killed your opportunity to lead.  When Christ was arrested in the Garden of Gethsemane, Peter reacted out of emotion, with a sword & removed the ear of a soldier.  Christ rebuked him, & healed the soldier’s ear.  Peter reacted out emotion, Christ responded out of love.  One brought more pain to an already painful situation, the other brought healing & salvation.  At that moment…that soldier believed. 

If we go back to verse 39, Christ teaches us, even in messed up situations, not to push away the hurting, but rather to embrace them.  Our reactions kill people, but our responses give life.  He said, “when you’re struck on one cheek, turn and give them the other…” In other words, don’t react and swing back, rather respond with patience, love, compassion, forgiveness, & peace.  Lead them to Jesus, by being Jesus to them.  When they swing like the devil, you respond with Jesus.  Who wins?

Which person are you?  What kind of leader are you?  Reactions are happening all around you….creating the world of chaos that we live in.  If you’ll take a minute to notice those around you…you’ll see the hurting, the emotional, the lost…but much more you’ll see the opportunity.  I’m interested in being a world changer, but it seems an impossible task in that perspective, until you realize that your world are the ones right next to you. You can change that world, one response at a time.  Don’t be the first to react to the situations around you, be the first to respond.  Great leaders respond.

Someone asked me on my “love is a choice” comment, “But what about chemistry? You gotta have chemistry, right?”  Let me address:

Chemistry is a fallacy through my understanding. If we want to address the physical attraction; typically that’s taken care of from the moment you meet. It’s the easiest bridge to cross. You know whether you’re attracted to someone or not from the moment you see them, it’s not a gradual pursuit. The other aspects of life that may be deemed “chemistry”, if done in God’s way, is a pursuit to find the person that God intends to fill your gaps. We have a distorted way of finding a mate. God chooses partners for us based on weakness (hence why they’re called partners), we choose relationships based on strengths. What we call chemistry is often times a bad grading scale for a relationship or partnership the way it should be, thus proving why 50% of marriages end in divorce.

See we grow up building relationships, male & female, based on common interests or our strengths (the things we like, the things we’re good at, etc.) We only “hang out” with those or “date” those that we have things in common with. And when it comes to dating, we deem that “chemistry.” So we spend our lives searching for the ones that we “click” with in the wrong way, based on strengths.

God is trying to fulfill a plan in each person’s life, but He never intended that we do it alone, He intended a “help mate.” A help mate is someone that should complete you & give you the ability to pursue & possess the plans God has for you. If we constantly build relationships, especially with a life help mate, on strengths, we’ll have gaps in our life that never get filled & thus don’t enable us to possess the full promise & plan intended for our life. So your partner should be a “gap filler.” Where you have weaknesses, they have strengths & vice versa. If we’re constantly looking for “chemistry” or “strengths” we do ourselves an incredible disservice & God gives us the free will to do that. If we allow God to build our relationships, He’ll prepare somebody for us that maybe isn’t so much like us or even somebody that we originally would have picked for ourselves, why? Bc we have the wrong grading scale. He’s trying to complete us…..while we’re just trying to feel good.

Therefore, I know from the jump whether I’m attracted to somebody or not, but the person that completes me, may be abrasive to me at times because we’re different. And if we don’t realize love is a choice & not a feeling, we’ll throw our relationships away when times are rough & we’re getting rubbed the wrong way….when things don’t “feel” good or right. But it’s in those moments where I choose to love & stand strong. It’s really in the rough moments that you find out about love, bc you always “feel good” in the good moments. Love isn’t real until it’s hard.

The best example I can give is the Garden of Gethsemane. Christ told me I’m to love my wife as Christ loved the church. His love for us wasn’t based on a feeling, but on a choice & a commitment. Had it been based on a feeling, I’d be a lost son of a gun. Because He would have given up a long time ago. In the Garden, He prayed earnestly for God to not make Him go through the punishment He was about to endure, He didn’t “feel” like going to the cross….but He chose to, because He loved you & I. “….nevertheless, not my will, but Your will be done…”

God’s relationship with me, fills my gaps.  “Where I am weak, He is strong….”  Notice, even Christ, when assembling a group of partners, didn’t choose 12 carpenters, yet some fisherman, some tax collectors, etc.  He selected 12 men of different make-ups to fulfill a purpose to carry out the Gospel and because that plan was assembled correctly, 2,00o years later, you and I can be introduced to Christ.

Allow God to train you in love, in relationships; allow God to train your children to love and prepare them for relationships, not Hollywood.  If you’re struggling with being “in” & “out” of love, realize that love hasn’t escaped you…if you choose not to let it.  Your feelings may be “in” and “out” but love remains.  If you feel like giving up on your relationships, look past the feeling and choose to stand firm….it’s likely you’re just finding out what love is about.  You can make it, you can do it and there is a plan for you to succeed.  Your struggle isn’t in becoming a love-maker, but a decision-maker.  Because love is a choice.  Just remember, Christ had a choice too when He didn’t feel like going through it. But He looked in that “cup” and saw you.  In that moment, He made a decision…and in that moment the battle that would be fought at Golgotha, was already won.

Someone asked me on my “love is a choice” comment, “But what about chemistry? You gotta have chemistry, right?”  Let me address:

Chemistry is a fallacy through my understanding. If we want to address the physical attraction; typically that’s taken care of from the moment you meet. It’s the easiest bridge to cross. You know whether you’re attracted to someone or not from the moment you see them, it’s not a gradual pursuit. The other aspects of life that may be deemed “chemistry”, if done in God’s way, is a pursuit to find the person that God intends to fill your gaps. We have a distorted way of finding a mate. God chooses partners for us based on weakness (hence why they’re called partners), we choose relationships based on strengths. What we call chemistry is often times a bad grading scale for a relationship or partnership the way it should be, thus proving why 50% of marriages end in divorce.

See we grow up building relationships, male & female, based on common interests or our strengths (the things we like, the things we’re good at, etc.) We only “hang out” with those or “date” those that we have things in common with. And when it comes to dating, we deem that “chemistry.” So we spend our lives searching for the ones that we “click” with in the wrong way, based on strengths.

God is trying to fulfill a plan in each person’s life, but He never intended that we do it alone, He intended a “help mate.” A help mate is someone that should complete you & give you the ability to pursue & possess the plans God has for you. If we constantly build relationships, especially with a life help mate, on strengths, we’ll have gaps in our life that never get filled & thus don’t enable us to possess the full promise & plan intended for our life. So your partner should be a “gap filler.” Where you have weaknesses, they have strengths & vice versa. If we’re constantly looking for “chemistry” or “strengths” we do ourselves an incredible disservice & God gives us the free will to do that. If we allow God to build our relationships, He’ll prepare somebody for us that maybe isn’t so much like us or even somebody that we originally would have picked for ourselves, why? Bc we have the wrong grading scale. He’s trying to complete us…..while we’re just trying to feel good.

Therefore, I know from the jump whether I’m attracted to somebody or not, but the person that completes me, may be abrasive to me at times because we’re different. And if we don’t realize love is a choice & not a feeling, we’ll throw our relationships away when times are rough & we’re getting rubbed the wrong way….when things don’t “feel” good or right. But it’s in those moments where I choose to love & stand strong. It’s really in the rough moments that you find out about love, bc you always “feel good” in the good moments. Love isn’t real until it’s hard.

The best example I can give is the Garden of Gethsemane. Christ told me I’m to love my wife as Christ loved the church. His love for us wasn’t based on a feeling, but on a choice & a commitment. Had it been based on a feeling, I’d be a lost son of a gun. Because He would have given up a long time ago. In the Garden, He prayed earnestly for God to not make Him go through the punishment He was about to endure, He didn’t “feel” like going to the cross….but He chose to, because He loved you & I. “….nevertheless, not my will, but Your will be done…”

God’s relationship with me, fills my gaps.  “Where I am weak, He is strong….”  Notice, even Christ, when assembling a group of partners, didn’t choose 12 carpenters, yet some fisherman, some tax collectors, etc.  He selected 12 men of different make-ups to fulfill a purpose to carry out the Gospel and because that plan was assembled correctly, 2,00o years later, you and I can be introduced to Christ.

Allow God to train you in love, in relationships; allow God to train your children to love and prepare them for relationships, not Hollywood.  If you’re struggling with being “in” & “out” of love, realize that love hasn’t escaped you…if you choose not to let it.  Your feelings may be “in” and “out” but love remains.  If you feel like giving up on your relationships, look past the feeling and choose to stand firm….it’s likely you’re just finding out what love is about.  You can make it, you can do it and there is a plan for you to succeed.  Your struggle isn’t in becoming a love-maker, but a decision-maker.  Because love is a choice.  Just remember, Christ had a choice too when He didn’t feel like going through it. But He looked in that “cup” and saw you.  In that moment, He made a decision…and in that moment the battle that would be fought at Golgotha, was already won.